Marr looked up. Someone was approaching.
Marr was at the console in the crew mess. She and Dukk had moved the conn there after Marr’s first walk-around. Dukk was doing the same now.
It wasn’t Dukk. It was Tieanna.
Marr turned in her seat. Tieanna came over and sat on the sofa.
They smiled at each other. It was the first moment they had been alone together.
It felt awkward.
“How are you feeling?” Tieanna asked after a moment of silence between them.
“Much better than last night.”
“That is good.”
“Did you rest?”
“Yes, thank you, I did. The bed in the guest room is far more comfortable than the prison cell bunk I’ve endured for the past twelve weeks.”
“I bet it was. How did you manage being alone for all that time?”
“It wasn’t easy, but I’ve been through worse.”
“Do you mean the time after the initiation when you were sixteen?”
“Yes.”
“You seem rather jovial about it all. Even when you told the story, I sensed it was hard, but there wasn’t anger.”
“I have learnt how to get past the anger and resentment.”
“But you still went ahead with the retribution.”
“By that do you mean the assassination?”
“Yes.”
“I may have got past the anger and resentment, but I never forgave him.”
“That sounds to be at odds.”
“Forgiveness is the best choice, in most cases, but not all. However, there are times when turning your back, or even striking them down, might be the better response. Even when someone comes looking for your forgiveness."
“That sounds a little harsh.”
“To forgive there needs to be an apology. An acceptance of wrongdoing. An acceptance of culpability. Let me explain that with an example. Let’s say Kim decides the Earth is flat and shares this belief with Jordan without giving any real explanation. Jordan adopts this belief without question. Then Riley comes along and tells Jordan that the earth is not flat. Jordan berates Riley for sharing a contrary view. Jordan suggests that Riley is an ignorant idiot. Jordan accuses Riley of being a conspiracy theorist. Jorden then tells others, and they do the same. Riley is ostracised and suffers for this contrary view. Then Kim uncovers something new and comes to the believe that the Earth is not flat. Kim then shares this new view with Jordan. This puts Jordan in a difficult place. Jordan decides an apology is in order and goes to Riley. Jordan says sorry for causing all the pain. Should Riley accept the apology or not?”
“Of course, why not?”
“The question I would be asking here is what has Jordan learnt from this experience? If Jordan can't answer that question promptly and articulate clearly that the mistake was in trusting Kim without question, then Jordan hasn't learnt anything. If there isn’t this understanding, Jordan’s apology is false. It has no substance. It doesn't deserve acceptance. It doesn't deserve forgiveness. If we want to apologise for mistakes, we must be ready to acknowledge where we failed. We must be willing to openly acknowledge where we failed in ourselves and what we learnt from it. Without that, it is not an apology. It is just virtue signalling. So, if someone wants to make amends with me for their mistake, I ask them what they have learnt and what they will do differently next time. If their answer isn’t sufficient, I consider their apology is false. In this case forgiveness isn't the right approach.”
“So, you didn’t get an adequate answer from Craig’s father?”
“No, I didn’t.”
“What about Magnum Reginae and her daughter. They imprisoned you for three months.”
“I have no feelings for them either way at this stage. I am yet to understand if they have remorse for it.”
Excerpt from Rule of Twelve, Book 3 - Regeneration, Chapter 3
